Of course, some of it has its roots in the usual stereotypes — stereotypes in the Western World.
According to Sheridan Prasso’s book, The Asian Mystique: Dragon Ladies, Geisha Girls, & Our Fantasies of the Exotic Orient, Asian men in general have long been losers in the world of mainstream American media: If there are some admirable aspects of the portrayals of Asian women in Hollywood and on TV, it’s hard to say the same of the portrayals of Asian men.
Don’t be like the grabby Brazilian men, but definitely DO touch early. In Brazil, there are way less games when two people are attracted to one another than in most other countries. I didn’t realize this until I lived in Brazil, but Americans have a very sarcastic sense of humor. It’s part of how we demonstrate we are close to one another. They are still sweet, but much less serious than their English counterparts. The American gets upset because they got flaked on.
Not all of the time, but often, this type of humor is either lost on Brazilian women or it pisses them off. You know in the States when you bump into someone from high school and you both agree that you need to “catch up sometime? No one is right or wrong, there are just different cultural standards for what “plans” mean. Lastly, if you’re looking to meet women, chances are you’ll be at a number of bars, clubs, and after parties.
But most will simply stand near him, oftentimes with their back to him, and wait for him to talk to her. Conversely, one of the ways to ruin a conversation before it starts is by breaking eye contact with a woman who is staring at you.
So when possible, find a way to make eye contact with a woman before striking up conversation.
In the US, women glance at a man they are interested in speaking with.
On the other hand, there are Chinese men — and their families — who would be happy to have a foreign woman in the family. For example, my good friend in Hangzhou, Xiao Yu, once told me that some Chinese men cannot overcome their feeling of inferiority — that being an American girl, a citizen of one of the most powerful countries in the world, made my presence somewhat intimidating.
The experience was so traumatic that he never sought another foreign girlfriend again.
On the flip side, I suspect that some foreign women might be unwilling to give Chinese men a chance because of money.
I don’t doubt he loved me in the beginning — but once his family knew, I suspect they made it clear that there was no future in what we had.
Even my own husband was first told by his parents that he could be friends with a foreign girl, but not date her.