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Those are big changes for any person, but it would appear that for the widower, this growth is marked not by the passage of time but by how he handles the cards that are dealt to him.

I don’t want to make any major moves (me or him) at least until the first anniversary of her death, but I do want to enjoy him in the meantime. My response: I certainly appreciate your concerns about developing a relationship with a man so recently widowed, but you know yourself and this man better than I do, so in the end, only you can determine whether there is “anything wrong with this.” I can tell you that the relationship your man had with his wife and whatever ongoing attachment he feels toward her, both now and in the future, is unique to him, and how he reacts to this loss will be unique to him as well.

This type of man may have a hard time with the thought of a girlfriend or future wife.

What about the widower who keeps his late wife’s clothes, phone messages, and pictures all around?

It is reminiscent of a kid who is trying to like broccoli.

If this advice sounds negative, it is only meant to provide women with a jolt of realism, and to provide widowers with an eye-opener.

673 comments

  1. By choice or by chance -- you have found yourself dating a man who is grieving the loss of his wife. The success of your relationship will depend largely.

  2. When dating a widower with children, it's important to not take it personally when they reference their spouse and past life. Learn how to.

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