It’s also best not to just recycle whatever old school internet handle has been your Twitter username and forum login info for years—stuff we created c.
1998 is usually not compelling enough for the competitive ecosystem of online dating.
Your username, coupled with your profile picture, is the MOST visible thing in search results.
He has acknowledged that he has an ambivalent-anxious attachment style (with the tendency to retreat when he is feeling emotionally challenged, but still a deep need to connect), which he is making sense of in therapy and independently.At any point in time, if you don’t feel like your relationship is taking, you can always go back to the well and know there is an endless parade of suitors out there. He needs more freedom and space, and when you express your anxieties, he withdraws.Anxious/Avoidant attachment partners are, in my opinion, the worst possible pairing because your needs are, essentially, mirror images of each other.Now what makes things even harder to navigate is this: you’re really stuck on this guy. Why bail on a promising relationship just because there’s a hint of trouble? And you can’t let fear make your decisions in life. As you’ve identified, there’s a chance he won’t be able to overcome his past, but it seems to me like he has all the best intentions in attempting to do so.And you’re writing to me to make sense of what seems like contradictory advice, “wait and see,” or “believe the negatives and run.”Honestly, you don’t have to decide today. Which is why I see this situation through a prism of cautious optimism. As I see it, the script of your relationship has yet to be written. One of my favorite quotes is: “The only risk is the one not taken.”I wonder if she would consider staying if she was 10 years younger than she is now.Of course, this will be paired with a GREAT profile picture, and a GREAT profile. Let’s analyze a couple usernames and think about what they convey to potential matches. Even if sex is important to you, you come off like a complete jackass if you actually spell that out with middle school shorthand.These first ones are mainly designed with a straight guy in mind. As covered in the roundup link of bad username ideas, avoid anything sexxxxy here. The sex comes later; you can’t frontload it in a username.Something playful and light, relevant to what you’re like, and funny if you’re a bit of a jokester. A username doesn’t have to encompass your entire personality to be good; it just has to be interesting and catchy enough to make someone want to click and learn a bit more about you.The goal is to blend your sense of humor, possibly an activity or hobby or some esoteric word that in some way relates to you, and combine it all with word play that makes someone go “hmm” (in the good way, not this way) and give you a second look. : The “Cool Guys” part is boring and the rest is borderline creepy/offensive to most gals.But, as someone with an anxious-frightened attachment style, this can be particularly provoking for me.He is always open and available to speak about my needs and feelings – but is not always equipped to handle my expressions.